As a mother, I like to be a part of each and every day of my child’s life. If possible, I’ll be there all her life. All of this will be possible if I will build a strong relationship with her. Somewhat I can achieve this through a parenting style called democratic parenting. With this kind of parenting, my child’s life will be guided with love, intimacy, respect and understanding. So I bid goodbye to the Hitler style of parenting and forget everything about inducing capital punishment.
I see to it that she understands why something shouldn’t be done. So the next time she will be encountering such, she will be wise enough to control the situation on her own. Unlike the disciplinarian approach, a child doesn’t do things simply because one is afraid of the parent’s anger or its punishment. I guess that there are no values or learning instilled in such way, so the tendency is to behave unlikely when no one is watching.
There’s a bigger chance of non-disappointing actions if she has in her mind the pros and cons that is entailed with such action and which of it has the greater weight to be considered. Furthermore it will be heartwarming to know that she reflects on how I would feel and make the effort of not letting me be upset because she loves me. In this aspect, respect will come in a greater sense. And that is earning her respect for me as a parent out of love and not because she fears not to be accepted or be favorable just to impress. On the other hand, she will also be more independent and I can leave her responsibly with nannies or at school. Being taught about things around her will make her witty and who knows she may do great in her academics and graduate with flying colors.
There’s also a possibility of broadening her level of interpersonal relationships not only with family but also outside the home. Little by little she will become responsible on her own. But as time goes, even if she ages, she will be more endearing and our lives will be more of an open book. It feels great for a mom to talk to her child and give her advices even on the taboos especially in her adolescent age. I would like her to feel comfortable and less afraid in consulting me about anything under the sun. That way she can be free from the bad effects of peer pressure or confiding with the fads that children would encounter.
That way she may become a trend setter and be uniquely extravagant. Pondering further, I know I am not superwoman and I cannot shield her on every harmful thing this world could offer in her journey of life. But it will always be a mom’s job to give her the best of everything. And I cannot leave her with anything more precious than a well-being. And it is rewarding for a parent if she will see her child become the best of what she can be.
Rhizza P. is a 25-year old single mom to a beautiful and amazingly smart 4-year old girl. She’s a full time mother and a full time writer at the same time. Rhizza believes that raising a happy kid despite the absence of his/her father is the true measure of success for any single mom. For more tips and information on democratic parenting, you may visit her blog at How to be a Single Mom