i need help from bipolar, and/or BPD, and/or RAD sufferers, their carers, families or professionals?
Demented Nutter Asked: i need help from bipolar, and/or BPD, and/or RAD sufferers, their carers, families or professionals?
i am in the process of being assessed by mental health team, again, and i need some information or advice from people with the above named conditions, or their carers, family, friends, even professionals who are aware of these illnesses, their symptoms, management of the effects, side effects of some medications….basicaly any knowledge and info you folks familiar with these (and/or similar conditions) have.
at 14 yrs old, back in 1995, i was diagnosed as having borderline personality disorder, BPD. this was after trying several antidepressants and getting no better, or worsening with some of them. now at that time, bpd was kind of a dummy, catch all that dont fit type diagnosis, and at 14 i was written off as unfixable, and worse..untreatable. bpd was a fairly new idea at that time, at least here in the UK, and i disagreed with the diagnosis, because the symptoms over time did not fit. the psychiatrist also ignored the cyclical nature of my episodes.
after this, i tried at least 15 more types of antidepressant, of all types…trycyclic, ssri's you name it. all without success, and again several i tried made me worse in varying degrees, from lowering my already extremely low mood, to making me severely suicidal. in short, no meds for clinical depression worked.
several years ago, i saw a consultant psychiatrist, who openly told me he was against medicating, and advocated talking therapies for his clients. he saw me around 4 or 5 times, for around 20 mins each time, read my personal history and told me" no wonder youre depressed, look at what youve been through." he said he believed that the correct diagnosis was attachment issues, and that it would take several years of intensive psychotherapy and counselling to improve my condition. i should mention that my mother is deafblind, and my stepfather is deaf, he came into our lives when i was around 4. before that mum was a disabled single parent. i believe the doctor judged me as having reactive depression, and RAD because of mums condition in my childhood along with other traumas that occurred. i do not agree with this, although i do understand that i probably have some type of attachment and abandonment issues, but none of that explains my episodes of depression and hypomania, i havent had a full blown manic episode that im aware of. while i was seeing this psychiatrist, he was off duty one day, and i was interviewed by another doctor, after an hour and a half meeting, he wanted to try me on seroquel. he suspected some type of bipolarity. he was overruled by my consultant and the medication was never tried.
i have read some health board approved literature on mental health, and due to my symptoms, i believe that i could be bipolar type II. my episodes fit also with rapid cycling, in frequency and age of onset, as well as the worsening over time.
i need people who know about these types of illnesses, so that i can get to know more about them from the human side, rather than leaflets with clinical information. im scared to read all the stuff online as a lot of it is non factual, or unreferenced. i just need people to discuss this with, as well as possibly, hopefully, finding some people with similar troubles so that we can support each other to get through the day.
sorry for the long post, i wanted to give as much info as possible, and please, this is a serious question, i really do need the help, and id appreciate not being totally trolled. thanks for reading, and im hoping theres some folks out there who can help:)
i should add that from age 14 i self medicated by smoking heroin, and the effect of that drug in particular, seemed to help me manage my episodes. i went to rehab at 18 years old, but ever since being an addict, i am CONSTANTLY sent to addiction psychiatrists/psychologists/counsellors. and they all seem to blame the drug use for my current mental state. they fail to note that i took the drug to escape the condition that already existed. i have a great gp, and he fully understands that drugs are not my issue, nor is addiction, they were a symptom of some mental health issue that was untreated.
again, sry its so long, thanks for reading, any responses appreciated, anyone wanting to talk about these type issues via email, give me your address in your answer and ill get in touch. i really hope that you guys can find it in your hearts to help me here, im in a big black hole of depression, and i need a lot of support to get over this thing. thanks again
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