my dad just died i am a 15 yr. old boy and i want to kill something?

i8nobettycrocker Asked: my dad just died i am a 15 yr. old boy and i want to kill something?

i have so much anger and hate towards people i dont know what to do. I share a room with my 17 yr. old brother. 3 yrs. ago my folks split up and my dad began hard drinking which is what caused his liver disease and killed him, just a few days ago. We lived with my dad taking care of HIM and ourselves while he stayed drunk 99% of the time. We barely stayed or saw my mom back then cuz dad we fel,t needed us more. I feel like mom abandoned us even tho I know dad ended their marriage. I dont feel any connection to my siblings, I want to kill my 17 yr. old brother. I hate my 13 yr old sister and my mom and her new boyfriend. My 2 oldest brothers, one is 23 the other is 28, both in the military, I barely remember being around even tho they were. I isolate myself and throw myself into my guitar or video games just to get thru the pain i have. My mom and my roommate brother want me to see a therapist or ?? but I dont like to talk to people about how I feel cuz they are stupid. evryone says I feel this way cuz Im a teenager or the grief of my dad dying gradually, he was diagnosed with liver disease in February and then stopped drinking, but it was too late.My mom took time off to come in and help take care of him at our house (he was bedridden till his death) and that bothers me that she was there. I love her cuz shes my mom and feel I have to but I hate her, same with my little sister. I dont have any desire to go live with any of my other family cuz I really dont know them and nobody knows ME. I just dont care about anyone. Only me. Sometimes I leave school just cuz people annoy me so bad I want to hit them. And I'm not wanting to hurt myself, only someone else. What kind of therapy can some asshole know-it-all have for me where I cant turn my feelings around? we have lots of counselors at my school that my mom has asked me to talk to, or the grief support groups for kids of a dead parent, but it's not for me. I know I need counseling tho. I don't care to hear if someone has had a similar experience, they're not me.